The past few days have been like any other day. I would hardly know I was pregnant if it weren't for the occasional sore boobs and tiredness. Though it's easy to blame that on life in general or the medication I'm still on and will continue to be on until I'm at least 11 weeks pregnant. I've still got six more weeks to go of shoving creams and pills in my va-ja-ja. It's not fun, but a small sacrifice to make for these beautiful babies.
Phillip and I, or should I say, Phillip has spent the last few days going ga-ga over buying baby stuff. I've had to tell him to slow his roll or these kids are going to have so much stuff, we're going to need to add on an extention to our house. I know he's excited about becoming a daddy. It's something he's dreamed of all of his life. Since I've already experienced having a child, some of the newness has already worn off. I'm consumed these days with making sure I stay pregnant and that these babies, and I reiterate babies, grow.
The days during my two week wait until I found out I was pregnant, were filled with sleepness nights, wondering if both my babies implanted, were they growing, would they stick? Now I find myself looking for every known sign of pregnancy and finding little to none. It's unnerving, when you're not experiencing typical signs of pregnancy. Some would call me crazy, since I am in fact, only five weeks pregnant. Others would call me lucky. Avoiding early onset morning sickness, food aversions and the like. But this pregnancy has been relatively uneventful.
With the medication that I take, comes bloating. Lots of bloating. So much so, that I look like I should be 4-5 MONTHS pregnant, instead of my 5 weeks. I'm walking around looking the part of then having to tell people that I'm not as far along as they thought. I guess it's better that NOT being pregnant but looking that way just because I'm fat. What horror! But with looking the part, comes not having to worry about sucking my bloated stomach in, which is impossible anyway. I find myself wearing loose fitting clothes and already looking into getting maternity clothes. That is one of the awesome perks of pregnancy. Not having to worry about my figure for nine whole months. My diet hasn't been the greatest. I'm not eating horrible, but I'm also not, not eating at all due to morning sickness. I keep telling myself I'm making up for the weeks to come when I'll barely be able to hold down a cracker. Well here's hoping anyway, at least then I'd feel pregnant.
But with all this comes the continued waiting. Telling people that I'm pregnant with twins, which in fact I am, since we implanted two babies. My prayer though is that while my mind might wonder of the things of God and his plan, God knows those two beings inside me. He created them with delight knowing that they were created in his name.
I can't wait until our first ultrasound, on July 23 when we will know, for sure, that indeed both our precious babies are still with us. It will be a moment that will be with Phillip and I forever. The first sign of life there for us to see. But for now...I wait and get back to life as usual.
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