Milestones

During this whole IVF journey you always trying to reach the next milestone. Finding our your pregnant is the first and most exciting.  If your like me, waiting for your first beta was pure torture. So even though I promised myself that I wouldn't POAS, I crumbled under pressure. But for me it was the good news we had been waiting for, it was positive.

Milestone #1: accomplished.

Waiting for your second beta to double.
For me, we were in Memphis at my sister in law's house on vacation. Had I decided to have my first beta done at a lab there, it could have taken days for my results to be sent to my doctor back home. I wasn't willing to wait that long. So my first beta was done on day 12 past our 5 day transfer. My second was done three days later. I wondered, I worried, I prayed. Oh did I pray.  Sometimes I imagine that God has put headphones on so he doesn't have to listen to me chatter on and on about making sure that these babies stick. But he must have heard me anyways. I told the nurse that took my blood that I wanted it to be in the 2000s. My first beta was 503. Three days later it normally would have been around 1300-1500. Doubling occurs every 48-72 hours. Mine was 2002, just over my goal mark.
Milestone #2: accomplished (and then some)

Then comes milestone #3, the ultrasound. The first chance for you to see your baby(ies). You may see a flicker of a heartbeat, see a sac and a yolk. These tiny forms of life that allow you to finally be able to breathe, to sleep, to eat (unless morning sickness has kicked in). The wait for this milestone is excrutiating.  I imagine with all my might two little beings growing at this rampant pace and I can't even feel it. All I feel is a racing heart, constant tiredness, sore boobs, and food aversions already taking place. I've so far avoided the dreaded morning sickness and I consider myself one of the lucky ones. But I'm not holding my breath. It can kick in any day now and linger until my second trimester. Oh yea, that's another milestone. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.  I'm still waiting for milestone #3. Nine more days to go and it feels more like a year.

I think for me its the begining of it all feeling real. Up until now, I've relied on a home pregnancy test and some blood work to tell me I'm pregnant. I may feel a few symptoms, but those can also be blamed on the medicine that I'm still taking. It's like convincing ourselves we're pregnant, when inside our own heads we're questioning it ourselves. But that first ultrasound is a confirmation. It's concrete evidence that you're a vehicle of life. God's miracles are so amazing and I'm to a participant and not just a spectator.  So for now, I continue to pray for my two babies. For their health and growth. But I pray for patience and peace and most of all, no morning sickness. Well for now at least.